The interaction of mormons and exmormons or "anti-mormons" is fascinating. Mormons are still trapped at one side of things, but exmormons have been mormons too. they can understand and look back and think "I remember...that was me once." (not that exmormons always act in a mature or understanding way but they can sympathize and know that this mormon was them at one point)Why can't mormons understand how former mormons feel? Well, I think mormons do understand pretty well, but they have to allow themselves to put themselves where the exmormons are. and that is very hard for a mormon to do because it's like they are denying the "one true church" to even think of it being wrong.
Understanding the predicament of exmormons really shouldn't be all that difficult for Mormons. A good faithful mormon loves the church and it is the focus of his or her life. They often think "what would I do without this light in my life?" or "how can other people be happy or even live without the one true church?" It might be hard to accept but exmormons like me used to feel a similar way about the church.
It is difficult for mormons to allow the thought but please think: what if the mormon church is not true? what if it is not god's one true church upon the face of the earth? what if you have been deceived or "brainwashed" a little bit? what if things aren't what you thought? what if Joseph Smith was not a good man or a prophet of god? what if President Hinckley does not receive revelation from god? to have such doubts is scary and a mormon knows these thoughts must be quickly put aside. But I still ask: what if?
You love this thing with all of your heart. you have made this your life. you look to this shining beacon for direction. If you found out that the church was not true how would you react? If it means anything to you, you would be shocked, angry, upset, mournful...think of how it would feel for you! Why aren't exmormons allowed to feel that way? Why does it seem so difficult to understand?
If you fell in love with a person and they said they loved you but abused you emotionally and took advantage of you, took your money and controlled your life, would you think it right to end that relationship? and would you think it right to warn others about this abusive person as well? If I met a woman getting into a relationship with a man like that who had hurt me it would be kind of me to express to her my concerns and explain to her how he had treated me.
To put it another way, mormons believe in missionary work. Mormons are judged by others and have lots of silly rumors about them and they want to correct the errors. mormons speak up because they want to put aside the misunderstandings people have. they want to tell their side of the story. they want to stand as a representative or their belief. exmormons and "anti-mormons" speak up for the same reasons. we want to share our side of the story too.
It may hurt to find out that the person you love is not who you thought they were and it might make you angry at the person who is telling you. you might not want to believe them. You might decide the other person is just a crazy spiteful person and the things they tell you are just resentful lies about the person you care about. But it wouldn’t hurt to make sure, would it? You might prevent the continuation of a relationship that will lead to misery. You might look at yourself and realize that some of the things said about this person are true. You are feeling controlled and abused and it's getting worse. You have been blinded by the love and devotion you feel, the good feelings of love. The person giving you a warning might save you a lot of pain and sadness if you listen to them. At the very least it shouldn't hurt to have another opinion. You might not like it but it might be worth more than you want to think.